On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic.
Yes, it’s that time of the year when we give the Twin Peaks version of “Twelve Days of Christmas” another listen.
In 1990, Kevin and Bean from the Los Angeles modern rock radio station KROQ-FM (kay-rock) got a bunch of Twin Peaks cast members in their studio to record a parody of the classic Christmas carol. You’ll recognize the voices of Jack Nance, Dana Ashbrook, Kyle MacLachlan, Kimmy Robertson and —this is when the song gets truly terrifying— Frank Silva.
In December 2014, Mary Hütter made a perfect video montage to accompany the song, using footage from Twin Peaks and Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me.
Have a wonderful holiday season!
Twin Peaks Cast – 12 Days of Christmas
Dana Ashbrook reacts to the 12 Days of Christmas song
This is Dana Ashbrook watching Mary Hütter’s video for the Twelve Days of Christmas song by the #TwinPeaks cast and cringing when he hears his own singing voice (much to the audience’s delight). pic.twitter.com/w1GuAuT0AY
— Twin Peaks (@ThatsOurWaldo) December 20, 2018
Twin Peaks Cast – 12 Days of Christmas Lyrics
Pete Martell (Jack Nance): “On the 1st day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: A body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic.”
Bobby Briggs (Dana Ashbrook): “On the 2nd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Two secret diaries.” Pete: “And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plasic.”
Killer BOB (Frank Silva): “On the 3rd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: THREE POSSESSED SOULS!” Bobby: “Two secret diaries.” Pete: “And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic.”
Special Agent Dale Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan): “Diane, on the 4th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Four talking logs.” BOB: “THREE POSSESSED SOULS!” Bobby: “Two secret diaries.” Pete: “And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic.”
Lucy Moran (Kimmy Robertson): “On the 5th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Five jelly donuts!” Cooper: “Four talking logs.” BOB: “THREE POSSESSED SOULS!” Bobby: “Two secret diaries.” Pete: “And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic.”
BOB: “On the 6th day of Christmas…” Pete: “…my sweetheart gave to me: Six fish in a percolator.” Lucy: “Five jelly donuts!” Cooper: “Four talking logs.” BOB: “THREE POSSESSED SOULS!” Bobby: “Two secret diaries.” Pete: “And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic.”
Bobby: “On the 7th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Seven one-armed men.” Pete: “Six fish in a percolator.” Lucy (or someone, in an operatic singing voice): “Five jelly donuts!” Cooper: “Four talking logs.” BOB: “THREE POSSESSED SOULS!” Bobby: “Two secret diaries.” Pete: “And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic.”
Cooper: “Diane, on the 8th day of Christmas, I had a strange dream: Eight dancing midgets.” Bobby: “Seven one-armed men.” Pete: “Six fish in a percolator.” Lucy: “Five, uh! F-five jelly donuts! Sorry, oops!” Cooper: “Four talking logs.” BOB: “THREE POSSESSED SOULS!” Bobby: “Two secret diaries.” Pete: “And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic.”
BOB: “On the 9th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: NINE OWLS LURKING!” Cooper: “Eight dancing midgets.” Bobby: “Seven one-armed men.” Pete: “Six fish in a percolator.” Lucy (sounding really p.o.’ed): “FIVE, JELLY, DONUTS!” Cooper: “Four talking logs.” BOB: “THREE POSSESSED SOULS!” Bobby: “Two secret diaries.” Pete: “And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic.”
Bobby: “On the 10th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Ten drooling Leos.” BOB: “NINE OWLS LURKING!” Cooper: “Eight dancing midgets.” Bobby: “Seven one-armed men.” Pete: “Six fish in a percolator.” Lucy (sounding really p.o.’ed): “FIVE, JELLY, DONUTS!” Cooper: “Four talking logs.” BOB: “THREE POSSESSED SOULS!” Bobby: “Two secret diaries.” Pete: “And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic.”
Lucy: “On the 11th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Eleven cherry pies.” Bobby: “Ten drooling Leos.” BOB: “NINE OWLS LURKING!” Cooper: “Eight dancing midgets.” Bobby: “Seven one-armed men.” Pete: “Six fish in a percolator.” Lucy: “Five jelly donuts!” Cooper: “Four talking logs.” BOB: “THREE POSSESSED SOULS!” Bobby: “Two secret diaries.” Pete: “And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic.”
Pete (in a rousing voice): “On the 12th day of Christmas, my sweetheart gave to me: Twelve cups of coffee.” Lucy: “Eleven cherry pies.” Bobby: “Ten drooling Leos.” BOB: “NINE OWLS LURKING!” Cooper: “Eight dancing midgets.” Bobby: “Seven one-armed men.” Pete: “Six fish in a percolator.” Lucy: “Five dozen donuts. What?!” Cooper: “Four talking logs.” BOB: “THREE POSSESSED SOULS.” Bobby: “Two secret diaries.” Pete: “And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic.”
Johnny Horne (Robert Bauer): Amen… Amen!
Lyrics via Rich Haller/Jeffrey Koga.
Fire walk with 
what do I think you ask????? well…THIS IS THE BEST CHRISTMAS PRESENT EVERRRR!!!!WOW!!! i’m shure there’s gona be a contest next year at the TP festival: who can sing the song whitout messing it up???? fabulous!!!! thank you soooo much!!! I like the way bob says: three possessed souls!!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!!
That is CLEARLY Dana Ashbrook. If you ever hear him speaking quite animatedly, you wouldn’t doubt it. There are times when he speaks in Twin Peaks where he sounds just like this.
By god that was marvelous.