WELCOME TO TWIN PEAKS | Fanning the fire, one (b)log at a time | And there's always David Lynch in the air...
“Diane... Entering the town of Twin Peaks.”

“Diane… The Twin Peaks Tapes Of Agent Cooper” Voiced By Kyle MacLachlan Released As Audiobook

Re-experience the mystery of Twin Peaks. The Cooper Tapes. The private world of Special Agent Dale Cooper, previously reserved for one woman... Diane.
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This post was published a while ago. Please keep its age in mind and if you find any errors, feel free to comment.

Diane, a small town is not unlike a river – lots of hidden currents and eddies, each holding its own secrets. My guess is that I haven’t even broken the surface yet…. Oh, one other thing, Diane, never drink coffee that has been anywhere near a fish….

The long sold-out audio tie-in originally released on a double-sided cassette when Twin Peaks was going into its second season late 1990, has been rereleased by Simon & Schuster today as an audiobook. The 45-minute recording, which earned Kyle MacLachlan a Grammy nomination for best spoken-word performance, includes several familiar messages to Diane as heard in the original series mixed with dozens of monologues specifically written for this release by Mark Frost’s brother, Scott Frost.

The rerelease was initially described as a special edition CD, but —without any fanfare— it’s out today as a digital download instead.

It’s available through Audible which means you can get this audiobook (plus, for instance, the 9.5-hour audio version of The Secret History of Twin Peaks) for $0.00 as part of a free 30-day Audible trial.

Best deal: Listen for free with a 30-day trial to Scribd, which also offers David Lynch narrating Room to Dream, Mark Frost’s The Secret History of Twin Peaks and The Final Dossier.

You can also purchase on Amazon, iTunes or Downpour ($3.99).

Unavailable in any other format – the original blockbuster audio tie-in to the television phenomenon Twin Peaks.

Re-experience the mystery of Twin Peaks. The Cooper Tapes. The private world of Special Agent Dale Cooper, previously reserved for one woman… Diane, including notes and stories never revealed on television. From the man in the black suit, Twin Peaks in his own words.

DIY Cassette Inlay

If anyone wants to go old school, Benjamin Liam Boyle recreated the original cassette inlay for you. Just put down your Sega Game Gear, record your own cassette and print out his PDF.

Diane... Twin Peaks Tapes cassette inlay PDF

“Diane… The Twin Peaks Tapes Of Agent Cooper” Tracklist

  1. Theme From Twin Peaks 1:31
  2. “Diane, It’s 8:00 AM, Seattle, Washington…” 1:42
  3. “Preparing To Board Flight 210…” 1:35
  4. “Airborne…” 1:05
  5. “Back On Solid Ground…” 0:51
  6. “11:30 AM, February 24th – Entering The Town Of Twin Peaks…” 1:34
  7. “Calhoun Memorial Hospital, Twin Peaks…” 0:21
  8. “Sheriff, We’ve Got A Lot To Talk About…” 0:47
  9. “Diane, I’m Holding In My Hand A Small Box Of Chocolate Bunnies…” 1:42
  10. “Night Has Fallen Hard On Twin Peaks…” 1:20
  11. “If You Could Bottle This Air…” 0:56
  12. “6:18 AM, Room 315, Great Northern Hotel…” 1:01
  13. “It Struck Me Again Earlier This Morning…” 0:28
  14. “We’ve Just Released James Hurley…” 0:41
  15. “Never Drink Coffee That Has Been Anywhere Near A Fish…” 0:54
  16. “This Must Be Where Pies Go When They Die…” 0:10
  17. “But First Another Piece Of This Heavenly Pie…” 0:14
  18. “Events Converge – The Theory Of Concentric Thinking…” 1:09
  19. “Canadian Geese…” 0:23
  20. “Long Day, Turning In…” 0:43
  21. “10:25 AM, Twin Peaks County Morgue…” 1:02
  22. “Diane, It’s 12:27 PM…” 0:42
  23. “A New Day For All But The Dead…” 1:28
  24. “Sunrise – Slept Badly…” 0:54
  25. “The Killer In My Dream Was Named Bob…” 0:45
  26. “When All Signs Point To Rome, Diane…” 0:42
  27. “11:19 PM, Jacques Renaud’s Apartment…” 0:45
  28. “Once A Traveler Leaves His Home…” 0:45
  29. “Deep In The Woods Near The Pearl Lakes…” 0:48
  30. “I Discovered Audrey Horne Lying In My Bed…” 0:37
  31. “Diane, 1:00 PM, Note The Following…” 1:03
  32. “What You Are About To Hear Is Deeply Disturbing…” 1:06
  33. “Roulette, Diane, Is A Sucker’s Game…” 1:06
  34. “There’s A Feeling Of Death In The Air…” 0:47
  35. “I Believe I Need A Large Cup Of Hot, Strong Coffee…” 1:07
  36. “Diane, 4:37 AM…” 0:57
  37. “As Long As You Can Keep The Fear From Your Mind…” 2:55
  38. “Have You Ever Known Any Really Tall Men?…” 1:18
  39. “I Think I’m On The Verge Of A Breakthrough…” 0:29
  40. “It’s Time To Lay This All Out As We Now Have It…” 1:56
  41. “Sleep Deprivation Is A One-Way Ticket To Temporary Psychosis…” 0:57
  42. Dance Of The Dream Man 3:27

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Founder and curator of Welcome to Twin Peaks since 2011. Bobsessed since March 1991.

What's your response to this?


  1. Chris says:


    Amazon version states 45 min whereas Downpour – 75
    Any ideas?

    • Avatar photo Pieter says:

      It is 45 minutes.

    • BOB says:

      Okay, more than three years later I see this comment. The answer: Downpour says Runtime: 0.75. So…three quarters. 75% of one hour is 45 minutes. They’re not wrong, but a bit weird.

  2. Bob says:

    Got it (and The Secret History) for free using a trial, thanks for the tip!
    If I burn the audiobook to cd using Nero via AudibleManager will it have the “This is Audible” intro on it?

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