“My Life’s A David Lynch Movie,” Schäffer The Darklord Raps In A Hip Hop Homage To The Director (Video)

When I saw Schäffer the Darklord perform A David Lynch Song for the first time at the second edition of The Pink Room Burlesque in New York City’s Parkside Lounge, I laughed myself to tears. You see, up until he cued the Laura Palmer’s Theme sampling hip hop beat, “STD” delivered a pitch-perfect Gordon Cole impression as the host of the Twin Peaks themed burlesque show. And to see a solid David Lynch character burst out into a nerdcore hip hop song with accompanying dance moves was kind of like seeing a mourning Leland Palmer going all Mairzy Doats.

We hear Llorando at Silencio, but there’s no applause
What’s with all these references to Wizard of Oz?
Badalamenti is haunting me, Robert Loggia is trippin’
I am not an animal! Pabst Blue Ribbon!

I’ve seen Schäffer rap the song many times since and it remains one of the highlights of every edition of Francine the Lucid Dream’s David Lynch inspired burlesque nights, for which he originally wrote the song. There’s no video of him performing it as the FBI’s Regional Bureau Chief yet (here’s hoping we’ll see that in an official video one day) but here’s one of him as a House Harkonnen doctor from David Lynch’s Dune, and another as a pre-Mairzy Doats Leland Palmer.

Laura Dern is concerned something will make her dead quick
I’m crying like the baby in Eraserhead, sick!
Nick Cage is in snakeskin, he howls at the moon
I’d mention spice and sand, but I never made it through Dune

By the way, Schäffer, if you read this, here’s a Directed by David Lynch t-shirt that would look nice on your… err, torso.

Schäffer the Darklord – A David Lynch Movie (Dune version)

Schäffer the Darklord – A David Lynch Movie (Leland version)

Listen to the original track as it appears on Schäffer free Junk Drawer album.

Schäffer the Darklord will be hosting The Pink Room Burlesque‘s 4th annual Miss Twin Peaks Pageant at Joe’s Pub on Saturday, January 31st 2015. Tickets are available here.

Schäffer the Darklord – A David Lynch Movie (Lyrics)

I come from a small town, but it’s filled with secrets
Happy like a sad clown, deeply steeped in regret
Headlights, yellow line; flying on the highway
Stoplight swinging in the night guiding my way, I say

Half of that which happens seems absurd
Motif’s in the imagery, taunting me like fire and birds
Words seem so strange when isolated, juxtaposed
And repeated by a creeper and I meet a lot of those

I’m in a smoky room, sweating out of control
A jazz record crackles at me through an old Victrola
…she’s there… and I get the feeling somehow
That I’ve never really known her, at least not until now

Then she’s gone, and I know she’s gone, I’m somewhere
That the air is filled with brushes gently touching on a snare
And a saxophone wails out, it cries like it longs
For the man who used to play it, but we all know he’s gone

And the woman, Silent Lilly, sings a sad Spanish song
A suave man croons into a work lamp and it’s on
And the radio blares across the desert and on

[Hook]

Could this really be? (ho!)
Or was it all a dream?
Is there any meaning in between these creepy scenes?
I just shrug and scratchy my head, I guess (ho!) I’m always left with guesses
None’ the people that I meet can seem to answer questions
There are very long pauses in the dialog and I
Spy a very pretty girl, I’m pretty sure she’s gonna die
It’s like it’s night time, all the time, shadows so fast
My life’s a David Lynch movie in which I’ve been cast

[Verse 2]

Everybody swears a lot, everybody smokes
Everybody speaks in code, I never get their jokes
I am on the wrong side of Lincoln, man; these people got demons
The men don’t have eyebrows, the women are screamin’

I take a chicken-walk down to the diner
Cuz if Isabella’s in this picture, I’mma find her
There is a little man, and he’s scarily dancin’
But he doesn’t bother Jack Nance or Harry Dean Stanton

Laura Dern is concerned something will make her dead quick
I’m crying like the baby in Eraserhead, sick!
Nick Cage is in snakeskin, he howls at the moon
I’d mention spice and sand, but I never made it through Dune

We hear Llorando at Silencio, but there’s no applause
What’s with all these references to Wizard of Oz?
Badalamenti is haunting me, Robert Loggia is trippin’
I am not an animal! Pabst Blue Ribbon!

There’s man in back of this place, his face is all rotten
We got a fresh pot of coffee, we got Kyle MacLachlan
And I’ll see you in the morning son, cue the Roy Orbison

Could this really be? (ho!)
Or was it all a dream?
Is there any meaning in between these creepy scenes?
I just shrug and scratchy my head, I guess (ho!) I’m always left with guesses
None’ the people that I meet can seem to answer questions
There are very long pauses in the dialog and I
Spy a very pretty girl, I’m pretty sure she’s gonna die
It’s like it’s night time, all the time, get in the car
My life’s a David Lynch movie, in which I’m the star