On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic.

Yes, it’s that time of the year again when we give the Twin Peaks version of “Twelve Days of Christmas” another listen. In 1990, Kevin and Bean from the Los Angeles modern rock radio station KROQ-FM (kay-rock) got a bunch of Twin Peaks cast members in their studio to record a parody of the classic Christmas carol. You’ll recognize the voices of Jack Nance, Dana Ashbrook, Kyle MacLachlan, Kimmy Robertson and —at the moments the song gets truly terrifying— Frank Silva.

Twin Peaks Cast – 12 Days of Christmas (Video)

UPDATE (December 2014): Using footage from Twin Peaks and Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me, Mary Hütter made a perfect video montage to accompany the song. Enjoy!

Killer BOB tree ornament made by Leah Alex Lehmann

Killer BOB tree ornament made by Leah Alex Lehmann

Pete Martell (Jack Nance): “On the 1st day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: A body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic.”

Bobby Briggs (Dana Ashbrook): “On the 2nd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Two secret diaries.” Pete: “And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plasic.”

Killer BOB (Frank Silva): “On the 3rd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: THREE POSSESSED SOULS!” Bobby: “Two secret diaries.” Pete: “And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic.”

Special Agent Dale Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan): “Diane, on the 4th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Four talking logs.” BOB: “THREE POSSESSED SOULS!” Bobby: “Two secret diaries.” Pete: “And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic.”

Lucy Moran (Kimmy Robertson): “On the 5th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Five jelly donuts!” Cooper: “Four talking logs.” BOB: “THREE POSSESSED SOULS!” Bobby: “Two secret diaries.” Pete: “And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic.”

BOB: “On the 6th day of Christmas…” Pete: “…my sweetheart gave to me: Six fish in a percolator.” Lucy: “Five jelly donuts!” Cooper: “Four talking logs.” BOB: “THREE POSSESSED SOULS!” Bobby: “Two secret diaries.” Pete: “And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic.”

Bobby: “On the 7th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Seven one-armed men.” Pete: “Six fish in a percolator.” Lucy (or someone, in an operatic singing voice): “Five jelly donuts!” Cooper: “Four talking logs.” BOB: “THREE POSSESSED SOULS!” Bobby: “Two secret diaries.” Pete: “And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic.”

Cooper: “Diane, on the 8th day of Christmas, I had a strange dream: Eight dancing midgets.” Bobby: “Seven one-armed men.” Pete: “Six fish in a percolator.” Lucy: “Five, uh! F-five jelly donuts! Sorry, oops!” Cooper: “Four talking logs.” BOB: “THREE POSSESSED SOULS!” Bobby: “Two secret diaries.” Pete: “And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic.”

BOB: “On the 9th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: NINE OWLS LURKING!” Cooper: “Eight dancing midgets.” Bobby: “Seven one-armed men.” Pete: “Six fish in a percolator.” Lucy (sounding really p.o.’ed): “FIVE, JELLY, DONUTS!” Cooper: “Four talking logs.” BOB: “THREE POSSESSED SOULS!” Bobby: “Two secret diaries.” Pete: “And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic.”

Bobby: “On the 10th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Ten drooling Leos.” BOB: “NINE OWLS LURKING!” Cooper: “Eight dancing midgets.” Bobby: “Seven one-armed men.” Pete: “Six fish in a percolator.” Lucy (sounding really p.o.’ed): “FIVE, JELLY, DONUTS!” Cooper: “Four talking logs.” BOB: “THREE POSSESSED SOULS!” Bobby: “Two secret diaries.” Pete: “And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic.”

Lucy: “On the 11th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Eleven cherry pies.” Bobby: “Ten drooling Leos.” BOB: “NINE OWLS LURKING!” Cooper: “Eight dancing midgets.” Bobby: “Seven one-armed men.” Pete: “Six fish in a percolator.” Lucy: “Five jelly donuts!” Cooper: “Four talking logs.” BOB: “THREE POSSESSED SOULS!” Bobby: “Two secret diaries.” Pete: “And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic.”

Pete (in a rousing voice): “On the 12th day of Christmas, my sweetheart gave to me: Twelve cups of coffee.” Lucy: “Eleven cherry pies.” Bobby: “Ten drooling Leos.” BOB: “NINE OWLS LURKING!” Cooper: “Eight dancing midgets.” Bobby: “Seven one-armed men.” Pete: “Six fish in a percolator.” Lucy: “Five dozen donuts. What?!” Cooper: “Four talking logs.” BOB: “THREE POSSESSED SOULS.” Bobby: “Two secret diaries.” Pete: “And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic.”

Johnny Horne (Robert Bauer): Amen… Amen!

Lyrics via Rich Haller/Jeffrey Koga.