Killer BOB Santa ClausFor those who haven’t heard it yet, here’s the Twin Peaks version of the “12 Days of Christmas” classic recorded by some of the cast members for the L.A.-based modern rock radio station, KROQ-FM (kay-rock). As you can guess, hearing BOB sing is most unsettling. And I’m still in doubt whether that’s really Dana Ashbrook, it just doesn’t sound like him.

Happy holidays, everyone!

Pete Martell (Jack Nance): “On the 1st day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: A body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic.”

Bobby Briggs (Dana Ashbrook): “On the 2nd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Two secret diaries.” Pete: “And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plasic.”

Killer BOB (Frank Silva): “On the 3rd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: THREE POSSESSED SOULS!” Bobby: “Two secret diaries.” Pete: “And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic.”

Special Agent Dale Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan): “Diane, on the 4th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Four talking logs.” BOB: “THREE POSSESSED SOULS!” Bobby: “Two secret diaries.” Pete: “And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic.”

Lucy Moran (Kimmy Robertson): “On the 5th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Five jelly donuts!” Cooper: “Four talking logs.” BOB: “THREE POSSESSED SOULS!” Bobby: “Two secret diaries.” Pete: “And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic.”

BOB: “On the 6th day of Christmas…” Pete: “…my sweetheart gave to me: Six fish in a percolator.” Lucy: “Five jelly donuts!” Cooper: “Four talking logs.” BOB: “THREE POSSESSED SOULS!” Bobby: “Two secret diaries.” Pete: “And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic.”

Bobby: “On the 7th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Seven one-armed men.” Pete: “Six fish in a percolator.” Lucy (or someone, in an operatic singing voice): “Five jelly donuts!” Cooper: “Four talking logs.” BOB: “THREE POSSESSED SOULS!” Bobby: “Two secret diaries.” Pete: “And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic.”

Cooper: “Diane, on the 8th day of Christmas, I had a strange dream: Eight dancing midgets.” Bobby: “Seven one-armed men.” Pete: “Six fish in a percolator.” Lucy: “Five, uh! F-five jelly donuts! Sorry, oops!” Cooper: “Four talking logs.” BOB: “THREE POSSESSED SOULS!” Bobby: “Two secret diaries.” Pete: “And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic.”

BOB: “On the 9th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: NINE OWLS LURKING!” Cooper: “Eight dancing midgets.” Bobby: “Seven one-armed men.” Pete: “Six fish in a percolator.” Lucy (sounding really p.o.’ed): “FIVE, JELLY, DONUTS!” Cooper: “Four talking logs.” BOB: “THREE POSSESSED SOULS!” Bobby: “Two secret diaries.” Pete: “And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic.”

Bobby: “On the 10th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Ten drooling Leos.” BOB: “NINE OWLS LURKING!” Cooper: “Eight dancing midgets.” Bobby: “Seven one-armed men.” Pete: “Six fish in a percolator.” Lucy (sounding really p.o.’ed): “FIVE, JELLY, DONUTS!” Cooper: “Four talking logs.” BOB: “THREE POSSESSED SOULS!” Bobby: “Two secret diaries.” Pete: “And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic.”

Lucy: “On the 11th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Eleven cherry pies.” Bobby: “Ten drooling Leos.” BOB: “NINE OWLS LURKING!” Cooper: “Eight dancing midgets.” Bobby: “Seven one-armed men.” Pete: “Six fish in a percolator.” Lucy: “Five jelly donuts!” Cooper: “Four talking logs.” BOB: “THREE POSSESSED SOULS!” Bobby: “Two secret diaries.” Pete: “And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic.”

Pete (in a rousing voice): “On the 12th day of Christmas, my sweetheart gave to me: Twelve cups of coffee.” Lucy: “Eleven cherry pies.” Bobby: “Ten drooling Leos.” BOB: “NINE OWLS LURKING!” Cooper: “Eight dancing midgets.” Bobby: “Seven one-armed men.” Pete: “Six fish in a percolator.” Lucy: “Five dozen donuts. What?!” Cooper: “Four talking logs.” BOB: “THREE POSSESSED SOULS.” Bobby: “Two secret diaries.” Pete: “And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic.”

Johnny Horne (Robert Bauer): Amen… Amen!

Lyrics via Rich Haller/Jeffrey Koga.