Oh Diane, he says
You’ll never guess what I saw today
Diane, he says
I wish you were here
Oh Diane, he says
This coffee’s amazing
And some clues are finally starting to appear
Allegra Rosenberg is a 17-year-old girl from Chicago who sings a lot about things she obsesses about. “My life is a series of obsessions,” she sings in an aptly titled song, Obsessive. Recently, Allegra has become obsessed with Twin Peaks (“It’s a really incredible show! It’s super weird and confusing…”), so she grabbed her ukulele and recorded a song called Diane’s Lament about the huge hypothetical and unrequited crush that Diane has on Special Agent Dale Cooper. The lyrics were written from the secretary’s point of view, but clearly, come straight from Allegra’s own heart.
Diane’s Lament (Twin Peaks/Dale Cooper Fan Song)
Lyrics:
You look out from the window
And you can see the whole city
But there’s nothing you want more than to get out of Pittsburgh
And take a one-way flight to Twin Peaks
All day long you sit and type up
The words that he sends you
You’d give anything to make it a two way conversation
but there’s nothing you can do
You send him everything he wants
He sends you more tapes in response
And you fall asleep to the sound of his voice
Saying Diane, Diane, Diane, Diane
Oh how you wish you were there with him
He’d say, Diane, Diane, Diane, Diane
And then you’d go in for a kiss….
Oh Agent Cooper, I need you to know
That I have been here along
Listening carefully, to what you dictate to me
Your faithful Diane
It could never happen
Cause he’s an agent and you’re his secretary
And anyway he’s much too handsome and smart
And always off solving mysteries
But you take those tapes home every day
And play them again and again
He says your name
And it sounds so wonderful
He says Diane, Diane, Diane, Diane
Oh how you wish you were there with him
He’d say, Diane, Diane, Diane, Diane
And then you’d go in for a kiss….
Oh Agent Cooper, I need you to know
That I’ve been here along
Listening carefully, to what you dictate to me
Your faithful Diane
Oh Diane, he says
You’ll never guess what I saw today
Diane, he says
I wish you were here
Oh Diane, he says
This coffee’s amazing
And some clues are finally starting to appear
If only he knew
Maybe he would come to you
But he doesn’t and he never will
So you’ll listen and type and dream all night
Of when he says Diane, Diane, Diane, Diane
Oh you wish you were there with him
He’d say, Diane, Diane, Diane, Diane
And then you’d go in for a kiss….
Oh Agent Cooper, I need you to know
That I have been here along
Listening carefully, to what you dictate to me
Your faithful Diane
And I know you won’t love me
But I’ll still always be
Your faithful Diane
BONUS: Did you know Kyle MacLachlan used his tape recorder prop to memorize Dale Cooper’s many lines by recording the speeches and playing them back and forth?
Fire walk with 
