Dale Cooper lives by his coffee so its taste is of utter importance. He likes it deep, black… and steaming hot. It drives him in the morning, keeps him going during the day and helps him survive through the early hours. Here’s how to sift the best from the awful, the “How to taste coffee with Special Agent Dale Cooper” guide written by Devil Marko.

Be sure to check out Marko’s music and his new blog, BeHyped.com. If you want to contribute an original and unpublished article to this blog yourself, let me know.

Dale Cooper's Guide to Tasting Coffee

Make sure you're about to hit an important breakthrough in a major murder case. Then, before you actually make the breakthrough, interrupt with an impromptu coffee tasting session. Very important: you need to have your precinct coffee & doughnut setup with you in the forest though.


Hold your mug out so the fine arabica (let's hope it’s a nice arabica, heaven forbid it's a mild robusta) flows gently into the inside of the mug.

Receive the coffee into the mouth and think about what you are experiencing. You should consider sweetness, bitterness, acidity and if you are sexy – astringency. Aromas should be analysed for persistence, aftertaste, consistency and balance.


If the coffee is excellent and hot and you would love to swallow it, spit it out straight away and right onto the ground at the pourer's feet.

If you love it, proclaim its virtues. If you don’t, swallow it all the way down and out of politeness say: "It’s excellent, thank you!"