When you write out the major plot points, stripped of all the surrealism, the main narrative is actually pretty straightforward and relatively easy to follow. I would even guess that it was sketched out by Mark Frost, with his background in Hill Street Blues and other police procedurals, before being passed onto Lynch, reworked, expanded on and given the full-heroin Lynch surrealist treatment. Of course there are many details that are never fully explained (what is up with Sarah Palmer for example), but the core storyline never strays too far from a simple police story narrative. It is much more like Lost Highway, with a clear narrative arc, just in The Return for whatever reasons, they decided to with-hold information from major plot-points making it difficult for us. It is much less like INLAND EMPIRE which descended into spiraling abstraction and improvised scenes created from intuition and was never intended to have a simple narrative. 

I know a ton of people will already be outraged, thinking “No! What is the point of this! if you strip away the surrealism you are missing the point! David Lynch is not as simple as this! It’s supposed to be murky and abstract!”. If you are of that kind of mind I advise you to stop reading this now. For other people though, following this simple run through of the major plot points will surely help them focus their own thoughts:

TWIN PEAKS: THE RETURN

There is, for want of a better phrase, a “crime syndicate”, made up of evil spirits (including Mike, The Arm, Jumping Man etc). 

There is, also for want of a better word, a “police force”, made up of various departments including Cooper, Cole, Briggs, Andy, Albert and all the other FBI Agents.

While investigating the crime syndicate, some of the FBI agents and Major Briggs disappear. Agent Jeffries goes missing undercover, and is later revealed to be held prisoner by the crime syndicate (in a teapot no less - surrealism at it’s finest!).

Next, Agent Cooper investigates the murder of Laura Palmer, a girl killed by an evil spirit named Bob. Bob is associated with the crime syndicate but may or may not be a current member. He definitely seems to be a rival of another spirit named Mike, but his current situation is never fully explained. Anyway, during the investigation Bob escapes police custody and a few weeks later, Cooper is taken prisoner by the crime syndicate and held captive for 25 years. 

Bob decides to take Cooper’s place by impersonating him. He starts gathering information about something that is never fully explained to us. He also hires a man named Ray Munro to gather information for him. Ray is later revealed to be an FBI informant. Bob, impersonating Cooper, also kidnaps an FBI employee named Diane, and replaces her with an imposter. Later, while gathering information undercover, this imposter Diane is discovered and is promptly called back to the crime syndicate who dispose of her.

Meanwhile, during his 25 years held prisoner, Cooper meets someone who claims to be Laura Palmer, but may or may not be her. She whispers something in his ear and disappears in front of him. It looks like she is taken but this is never explained. Cooper also meets someone who may or may not be Laura’s father Leland, who tells him to “Find Laura”. Then, the crime syndicate tells him he is free to go, but for reasons that are not completely explained, his exit from the prison does not go smoothly and he finds himself falling in space (surrealism again).

After a brief stop falling through an unexplained box in Manhattan, Cooper ends up in a weird space where he meets someone called Naido who apparently helps him escape, but also disappears in front of him, falling into space herself. During this sequence some evil entity that is never explained bangs on the door loudly. We then have an extended sequence where Cooper, aided by Mike from the crime syndicate and various unexplained green lights, returns to earth with amnesia and slowly gets his memory back. When he does, he goes to Twin Peaks and kills his imposter Bob (this is aided in various aspects by an unknown character named the Fireman who seems to be working with Major Briggs and we shall explore in a moment).

Shortly after killing the imposter Bob, Cooper meets Naido again. She transforms into someone who may or may not be the abducted FBI employee Diane. It is suggested through strong visual cues and color design that this Diane is associated with the crime syndicate. At the moment Cooper first sees Naido, the image splits and we see Cooper more or less watch the events unfold inside his own head. He tells us “we live inside a dream”.

The two images realign, and for reasons that are not explained, Cooper then returns to the crime syndicate, who take him to see the prisoner Agent Jeffries. There follows a sequence where Cooper then appears to travel back in time and rescue Laura on the night of her murder, which has the effect of erasing Laura from history, then Laura disappears in front of Cooper. During this sequence, as Cooper rescues Laura, we see an unexplained shot of Laura’s mother Sarah attacking Laura’s picture. Earlier we have seen Sarah is possessed by an evil spirit, but none of this is ever explained.

Immediately Cooper is back in the crime syndicate prison. He again sees someone who may or may not be Laura who whispers in his ear and promptly disappears in front of him as before. He then again sees someone who may or may not be Laura’s father Leland, who tells him again to “Find Laura”.

Cooper then leaves the crime syndicate’s prison, smoothly this time, and rendezvous with the woman who may or may not be Diane but has strong visual cues connecting her with the crime syndicate.

Earlier, we have been shown a sequence set in 1945 where the Fireman and Senorita Dido, two beings whose meaning is not explained to us, watch an atom bomb explosion which somehow allows an evil entity send an orb containing BOB’s image to earth. They react to this by creating a golden orb that contains Laura’s image and send it to earth. We skip forward a few years and a short sequence shows us woodsmen, known-members of the crime syndicate, help put people to sleep while a bug-like creature hatches from an egg and inhabits a young girl. Why all this happens is not clear and is never explained. 

We have also seen a scene where the Fireman meets Cooper and tells him “It is in our house now. It cannot all be said aloud” and gives him 3 cute cryptic clues. The Fireman also gave the Police Deputy Andy a vision which included, among other things, an image of a #6 electric pole.

Cooper, and the woman who may or may not be Diane, use the 3 cryptic clues (and also the #6 electric pole the Fireman showed Andy) which eventually lead Cooper to a woman named Carrie. Diane disappears along the way, her disappearance is not fully explained. Also, part of the journey to discover Carrie involves stopping at a diner that has the same name as the entity Jeffries was investigating while he disappeared. The significance of this is never explained.

Cooper is surprised that Carrie has no memory of being Laura. However, a reference to her mother Sarah causes a reaction in Carrie. This reaction is not explained. Presumably in an effort to help Carrie remember she is Laura, Cooper drives Carrie to Laura’s family home in Twin Peaks. The Palmer family does not live at this house. The current and previous owners share names with two known members of the crime syndicate. 

While standing outside the house, a confused Agent Cooper asks “What year is this?” and a voice that sounds like Laura’s mum says “Laura”. Carrie begins screaming. In what could be something with a greater meaning, or simply an exciting and punchy special effects shot, all the lights in the house blow out. 

We see a final shot of Cooper back in the crime syndicate’s prison, a replay of the sequence where Laura whispers in his ear. We do not know what she says.

The end.

When you read through it like this, the narrative is not that abstract really. Most of the confusion lies in information from major plot points being withheld from us for whatever reason. Perhaps this was done by Lynch during editing just to make it a bit less tangible and a bit more abstract. Anyway, fingers crossed for a season 4 where the answers to some of these omissions are filled in!